‘Arranged marriage’ doesn’t the name itself sound ambiguous? Well ambiguous in the sense, how can a marriage of all things in the world be arranged? All right lets get to the basics. Arranged all right but by whom? By the parents of the concerned guy and the girl would be the simple answer and yes that’s right. Also I never deny the fact that parents know best. I am what I am today because of my parents.
But how can the parents determine the life partner, the person with whom the guy or girl is going to spend the rest of their lives with. This is akin to saying that when you are in say school or college your dad comes over to your classes picks up a guy who looks decent and studious, comes to you and says ‘ok son this guy looks studious and decent so I want him to be your friend during the time you spend in college.’
Will you ever accept that? When it takes so much of time for you to understand and accept a person as a friend how can you simply look into a photograph or meet a person for a few minutes(during another joke of a ceremony)and agree to marry the person.
Now please dont think I am a rebel or some proponent of love marriages,I do attend these weddings day in and day out.I am just giving shape to my thoughts here!
Let us consider for instance the typical criteria for the selection of the groom:
1. First and foremost the dude should be from the same caste and creed.
2. The horoscope of the guy and the girl should match-very crucial indeed.
3. Must definitely be in a very well paying job that is deemed secure.
4. Must look decent, if conditions 2and 3 are satisfied even a not so decent looking guy would be an ideal match.
Even after meeting all these ‘crucial selection criteria’, the guy could be a complete nut case(like that dumb colleague of yours in office and might not even come close to your daughter who could be having a great creative side) or could even be a homicidal maniac.
And he could also be a great guy, a perfect match for your daughter. But is this something that can be left to chance? What if he doesn’t turn out to be a great guy but rather seems to be like the former cases.
Still the marriage will seem to be a success but mark my words it will only seem to be a success because we are a society of hypocrites.
What is the definition of success here? As I mentioned earlier the guy would be having a great paying job and the financial security would be in place and there would be a kid too now. So the marriage is a success. Or is it?
But how can the parents determine the life partner, the person with whom the guy or girl is going to spend the rest of their lives with. This is akin to saying that when you are in say school or college your dad comes over to your classes picks up a guy who looks decent and studious, comes to you and says ‘ok son this guy looks studious and decent so I want him to be your friend during the time you spend in college.’
Will you ever accept that? When it takes so much of time for you to understand and accept a person as a friend how can you simply look into a photograph or meet a person for a few minutes(during another joke of a ceremony)and agree to marry the person.
Now please dont think I am a rebel or some proponent of love marriages,I do attend these weddings day in and day out.I am just giving shape to my thoughts here!
Let us consider for instance the typical criteria for the selection of the groom:
1. First and foremost the dude should be from the same caste and creed.
2. The horoscope of the guy and the girl should match-very crucial indeed.
3. Must definitely be in a very well paying job that is deemed secure.
4. Must look decent, if conditions 2and 3 are satisfied even a not so decent looking guy would be an ideal match.
Even after meeting all these ‘crucial selection criteria’, the guy could be a complete nut case(like that dumb colleague of yours in office and might not even come close to your daughter who could be having a great creative side) or could even be a homicidal maniac.
And he could also be a great guy, a perfect match for your daughter. But is this something that can be left to chance? What if he doesn’t turn out to be a great guy but rather seems to be like the former cases.
Still the marriage will seem to be a success but mark my words it will only seem to be a success because we are a society of hypocrites.
What is the definition of success here? As I mentioned earlier the guy would be having a great paying job and the financial security would be in place and there would be a kid too now. So the marriage is a success. Or is it?
