Why the system of ‘ARRANGED MARRIAGE’ in India is a joke

‘Arranged marriage’ doesn’t the name itself sound ambiguous? Well ambiguous in the sense, how can a marriage of all things in the world be arranged? All right lets get to the basics. Arranged all right but by whom? By the parents of the concerned guy and the girl would be the simple answer and yes that’s right. Also I never deny the fact that parents know best. I am what I am today because of my parents.

But how can the parents determine the life partner, the person with whom the guy or girl is going to spend the rest of their lives with. This is akin to saying that when you are in say school or college your dad comes over to your classes picks up a guy who looks decent and studious, comes to you and says ‘ok son this guy looks studious and decent so I want him to be your friend during the time you spend in college.’

Will you ever accept that? When it takes so much of time for you to understand and accept a person as a friend how can you simply look into a photograph or meet a person for a few minutes(during another joke of a ceremony)and agree to marry the person.

Now please dont think I am a rebel or some proponent of love marriages,I do attend these weddings day in and day out.I am just giving shape to my thoughts here!

Let us consider for instance the typical criteria for the selection of the groom:

1. First and foremost the dude should be from the same caste and creed.
2. The horoscope of the guy and the girl should match-very crucial indeed.
3. Must definitely be in a very well paying job that is deemed secure.
4. Must look decent, if conditions 2and 3 are satisfied even a not so decent looking guy would be an ideal match.

Even after meeting all these ‘crucial selection criteria’, the guy could be a complete nut case(like that dumb colleague of yours in office and might not even come close to your daughter who could be having a great creative side) or could even be a homicidal maniac.

And he could also be a great guy, a perfect match for your daughter. But is this something that can be left to chance? What if he doesn’t turn out to be a great guy but rather seems to be like the former cases.

Still the marriage will seem to be a success but mark my words it will only seem to be a success because we are a society of hypocrites.

What is the definition of success here? As I mentioned earlier the guy would be having a great paying job and the financial security would be in place and there would be a kid too now. So the marriage is a success. Or is it?

An eye on the vision

What is this vision all about?Companies have emblazoned it right across their offices ,its drilled over and over into students at B-Schools and blah blah blah
So here's my take on what vision is all about(maybe you can give it a different name)

You are at the shores of a river.

You have to get to the opposite bank.

The flowing river is swift with a strong current.

Now the success lies in getting to the opposite bank without being swept away by the strong currents.

Would'nt this be a simple task to do if you just have to hold a rope overhead(of course you have to cling on to it tightly) and follow the rope slowly but steadily.

This rope is what VISION is.

Difficult to cling onto it is'nt it?

A wonderful quote

Action without vision is a waste of time,
Vision without action is mere daydreaming.

C'mon it cant happen to me......

....the 'it happens only to others' kind of an attitude towards accidents is pretty natural and I had the same kind of an attitude myself before I was rudely pushed into reality and found myself involved in one.I remember the date too 9th Sept 2002.Well not serious enough to be marked in red but serious enough to have made me understand a few hard facts of life.A cool monday morning at around 6.30am and there I found myself just barely inches away from the wheels of one our beloved MTC buses on the Kodambakkam overbridge.

I am not going into the details of it but I missed death by a whisker but my six month new bike had taken the brunt of it for the rear wheel of the bus had run over it and my heart bled watching pieces of my new bike being recovered from underneath the bus.

I've passed through that way a million times after that in my same dear bike and the same thoughts pass through my mind every other time.

1.I could have died in that accident and caused irrecoverable grief to my parents but I did'nt so why not make them happy and joyous as much as possible.

2.I would'nt have enjoyed life myself so why not stop brooding over all the petty things in life and make masti.

3.Had I had some serious injuries from the accident,would'nt have been able to lift weights(my passion) so why not make working out in the gym a more serious affair(not that I was'nt serious then).

The parallel between weight training and the professional life!!!!

Seven years of working out in the gym has taught me one thing clearly.Life is all about perseverance.Here goes the parallel beetween weight training and your success at the job you have taken up:

1.Both require a lot of time and effort before you start noticing results and people start noticing you.

2.The more intense the dedication ,the faster will be the results.

3.Once you have reached a certain level,trying to maintain that would be a tougher job than to have actually come up to that level.

4.After reaching a stage wherein you feel you are firmly entrenched,people around you start copying you and you become a sort of benchmark .

Is'nt this true?

'If I am not for myself who is for me,If I am only for myself what am I for'